


A Lack Of Forethought

by mirothecat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Family, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 06:01:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14326143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirothecat/pseuds/mirothecat
Summary: Draco is a little upset. And in his distraction, he forgets something important. Almost 5 years old and cross-posted from TPP and ff.net.





	A Lack Of Forethought

**Author's Note:**

> Just a silly little Dramione piece that got good reviews on other sites. I know there are plot holes, but people seem to think it's a good laugh so I migrated it over here anyway. Don't take it too seriously.

_Stupid._ He digs his spoon into the convenient tub of ice cream as if trying to stab it to death.

 _No bloody plan beforehand in case this happened._ He swallows the spoonful whole, distracted, glaring at the tub of sugary goodness as if it had personally offended him.

 _Of course it bloody happened at her grandmother's house._ He stabs the cookies and cream flavored concoction with a vengeance.

 _Of course the dear old muggle refused to leave her side._ A particularly large spoonful causes him to start coughing when he doesn't take the time to chew it.

 _Now she's in a muggle hospital of all places._ His rate of inhalation of ice cream increases.

 _Bloody muggles and their bloody system._ His stomach contracts, and he tells himself that it's anger at the current awkward situation.

 _My wife is in fucking labor and I can't be by her fucking side._ He misses the tub of creamy bliss and dents the table by accident.

 _Those cretins fumbling about her won't let me near her because I can't prove my relationship to her._ He shovels another slab of congealed milk into his mouth, fighting off the temptation to blow something up.

 _We're not muggles, why should we have had our marriage license on file with their government as well as ours?_ He hurls the spoon at a window, and summons another one from the drawer.

 _Now they've got their grubby paws on her, we'll never be able to get her to St. Mungo's if there are complications._ His spell is too strong, and the spoon smacks him upside the head.

 _And I'm not present at the birth of my child._ Giving up on both magic and kitchen utensils, he sticks his face directly in the tub of ice cream.

 _Hermione is going to throw a fit when she's back to herself._ He licks the last drops up blindly.

 _We are the MALFOYS, dammit, we are not to be treated this way._ His stomach lodges a stronger complaint.

 _This treatment of a grand old family like us turns my stomach._ He drops the empty carton with a groan and a cramping of his stomach.

 _It just makes me sick how they... no, wait, I think I really might be sick._ He staggers in the direction of the bathroom.

_Fuck, I forgot I was lactose intolerant._


End file.
